You are not alone. That’s the first thing I want you to know. Sadness is a basic emotion that makes us human. However, if these feelings of despair are persistent and have become a part of your personality, I am here to help you figure out the cause of your sorrow. Here is a list of 8 reasons that make us sad, one or more of which could be instigating your misery.
One simple reason for your sadness could be the problems of your life. You must be going through some sort of loss currently or have experienced it in the recent past, and that could be taking a toll on you. There is a possibility that you went through something a while ago but did not mourn enough or give yourself enough time to heal from it.
If this is right in your case, I need you to breathe and understand that it’s okay to feel this way. You don’t have to get over your problems in a day and be back out there. If you feel upset about losing someone, that’s the most natural reaction to loss. If you have failed to crack 5 interviews in a row and don’t feel motivated to show up for the next one, that’s absolutely okay. You are allowed to be down about losing the things or people you care about.
In this generation of social media, all we see is perfect skin, perfect body, perfect teeth, perfect hair and perfect every single thing. If you look in the mirror and feel upset about what you see in it, it’s not your fault. It’s the modern standards of beauty that keep pulling us down.
I look at a 16-year-old on Instagram and she has beautiful thick hair, makeup by Huda Beauty, branded clothes, her own car and makes way more money in a month than I do in several months. Now, can you blame me for feeling inadequate and discontent? If this makes me hate my Maybelline lipstick or my regular job, I am just one among the million more who face this every day.
Are you always trying to do the right thing? Do you check and re-check your work to make sure it’s perfect? Are you always trying to be the best in everything you get involved in? Are you always beating yourself up for that one mistake you made? Do you feel exhausted by all the pressure you put on yourself?
Maybe you are expecting way more from yourself than humanly possible. We are all allowed to commit mistakes and learn from them. There is a fine line between being motivated to do better and pushing yourself way beyond the limit, and not giving room for errors. Over-expectations make us feel drained and often result in a lack of confidence overtime.
4. Lack of motivation
What’s the one thing about your life that makes you wake up every morning and keep going? Name one thing from your routine that excites you the most? If your answer to both questions is unclear, we need to talk. As dramatic as that sounded, I have a point here. Setting goals for yourself, having something to look forward to, and spending time on yourself are crucial factors in maintaining a healthy state of mind.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our family, partner, or work that we don’t realize how much we have been neglecting ourselves. You might have an extremely busy schedule and you can’t always think about yourselves. It makes you feel selfish; I get it. But wanting something for yourself isn’t selfish. Wanting something for yourself at the cost of others is selfish. There is a difference. Ignoring yourself for others might seem practical at first, but eventually it causes dissatisfaction and lack of enthusiasm for life.
5. You are being ill-treated
Every person deserves and needs respect, love, and appreciation. There are multiple ways of expressing and perceiving these emotions. But the effects are more or less the same. Not being respected or appreciated makes us feel unwanted. It is also possible that you are being abused.
Abuse doesn’t have to be physical or verbal. Sometimes the way someone treats you, drains your heart and mind, resulting in emotional abuse. You might end up feeling controlled, scared, and lost, to say the least. In such cases, sadness is not even a fraction of what a person feels.
6. Surrounded by negative energy
Name one person in your life that you are always trying to please or be liked by. Name one person you seek validation from. Well, those were trick questions. If you did actually name someone, hear me out. If you feel the need to constantly impress someone or do things to fit into their life, that relation isn’t healthy. It could be a friend or someone you are seeing or a cousin.
We are all built with certain qualities and scope to get better. Throughout our lives, we meet certain people who like us for who we are or bring the best out of us. And then there are people whom we really like and want in our lives. However, your energy just isn’t in sync with them. It requires you to change who you are or let go of a part of yourself to be around them. These people aren’t wrong. I believe nobody is. However, your energy and the way you are designed, don’t fit well with them.
It could be someone who wears branded clothing and you might feel tempted to purchase the same to hang out with them. Or else, it could be a party person and you might feel the need to be outgoing to be in their inner circle. The clothes you wear or the person you are, are supposed to depend on your choices and not what others look like around you. There is nothing wrong with doing something different, but constantly trying to live someone else’s life is tiring. It makes you feel inadequate and affects your mental health.
I cannot talk about happiness and skip relationships. Relationships affect our moods and feelings immensely. It is easy to get carried away and shape our entirety around a relationship. If you have bottled up emotions in a relation, it will take a toll on you sooner or later.
When a relationship starts budding, we tend to be over-accommodating because we want to impress the other person and not scare them away. This results in long-term repercussions, thus making it difficult to be honest and expressive in a relationship. These suppressed feelings tend to make us sad and complicate the relationship as well.
8. Mental health
There are several conditions of mental health which need more awareness and attention. Several of these, result in low energy and confusion within self. You could be going through a mental illness and need a doctor. I would recommend you to see a professional and let them guide you. If you feel you are sad and end up crying and feeling low for no reason, please seek a doctor.
Tips to overcome sadness
The best advice I can give for any problem is seeking help from a professional. If you are struggling with your emotions, please reach out to a therapist. They will help you deal with your feelings and guide you to feel better.
2. Pen your thoughts
Most people struggle with expressing themselves or even figuring out what they feel. Writing your thoughts down gives you a clarity and helps with releasing all the chaos inside. Maintaining a journal is a great practice for a sane life.
Surround yourself with positive energy. Maintain healthy relations and pay attention to who you spend time with each time you find yourself feeling insecure or discontent. Seek positive people and make your life a peaceful zone for yourself.
Read a book or listen to music that could pump you up. Here is a list of my favorite songs about self-love that make me feel better.
Accept yourself for who you are, where you come from, and what you want for yourself. Bringing new people can add up to your life, but it shouldn’t take away from your reality and roots.
5. Healthy lifestyle
Good food and health affect your hormones and instill positivity in your life. Unhealthy lifestyle affects your mental and physical health. Maintain a healthy diet and reward yourself with comfort food accordingly.
6. Goals and targets
Set a practical goal for yourself and work towards it. It could be professional, financial, or personal. Setting achievable goals and ticking them off gives a sense of satisfaction and respect for oneself.
Find a hobby and inculcate it in your daily life. Hobbies help you take time off stress and help to break monotone. You can also include your loved ones if you like.
8. Work on yourself
Life is never going to be perfect. We need to figure out our ways around it. Be understanding towards yourself and others. Treat yourself for your achievements and try to learn from failures.
These are a few healthy tips I’ve learnt overtime to overcome sadness.
Don’t forget to mention in the comment box below, a habit that has helped you keep your sanity through tough times.